July 24, 2025
This week has felt like wading through a storm. The first anniversary of John’s murder is looming, and I am unraveling. I keep replaying this time last year, in my mind, knowing he moved through these days unaware that his life would soon be stolen. Grief has me caught in a relentless tide of tears, each wave crashing harder than the last.
On Tuesday, we had the long-awaited meeting with the prosecution team to hear if the defense accepted our counteroffer. They accepted part, but not all, which was disappointing. I’ll write about this in detail after ‘Miller the Killer’s sentence hearing on August 26th. This is the day when our voices, as victims, will be heard by the court and the killer. We’ll be able to make our statements to the judge before the agreed-upon sentence is handed down. I have no idea what I’m going to say. A part of me doesn’t want to speak at all, but the other part reminds me I cannot refuse. I promised John that I would be his voice. Worry sets in. What if the intensity of the moment renders me speechless?
I have to let that go for now. My focus is on the grim reminder of July 28th, the day ‘Miller the Killer’ tore my son from me. It’s a day I wish I could skip, a day that never should have happened.
And once again, my vision blurred as fresh tears welled, tracing paths down my cheeks.
As the tears streamed, my nine-year-old granddaughter, John’s daughter, gently placed the day’s mail in my hand. She always gets the biggest kick out of retrieving our mail from the box and “delivering” it to me. The junk mail landed in the wastebasket, but one envelope remained in hand. It was from Parents Of Murdered Children, the support group I attended once last year. The memory of that first meeting, which was later described in the blog post Too Much Too Soon, resurfaced. What could they want after all this time?
I opened the envelope and noticed a flurry of butterflies danced across the paper, mirroring the profound transformation within my soul since John’s murder. Beneath them was a poem titled ‘When Tomorrow Starts Without Me’
Each line of this profoundly beautiful piece resonated deeply within me, offering the exact comfort I needed today.
WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME
When tomorrow starts without me
And I’m not here to see
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me
I wish you wouldn’t cry
The way you did today
While thinking of the many things we did not get to say
I know how much you love me
As much as I love you
Each time that you think of me
I know you will miss me too
When tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand
That an Angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand
The Angel said my place was ready
In Heaven far above
And that I would have to leave behind
All those I dearly love
But when I walked through Heaven’s Gates
I felt so much at home
When God looked down and smiled at me
From His golden throne
He said This Is Eternity
And All I promised you
Today for life on earth is done
But here it starts a new
I promise no tomorrow
For today will always last
And since each day’s the same way
There is no longing for the past
So When Tomorrow starts without me
Do not think we’re apart
For every time you think of me
Remember I’m right here in your heart ❤️
Author: David M Romano
