The Obituary

August 4, 2024

I returned home from looking at the cemeteries and fixed a small plate of food along with some iced tea. I hadn’t eaten all day and knew I had to get something in my system in order to keep going. I took a couple bites but immediately lost my appetite, so I just sipped on the tea.

Who can really eat at such a devastating time as this? Food is the last thing on my mind.

I pushed the plate aside and Cindy asked if there was anything I needed before she headed upstairs to go to bed. Tomorrow would be another long day. She paused and said, “I can help you with the obituary if you want.”

I thanked her but shook my head no and told her, “this is something only I can do.”

“Try not to stay up too late. You can always go to bed and get up early in the morning to write it,” She said as she was walking down the hallway.

I was so exhausted, but this is something I needed to do right now.

I looked at the blank screen on my laptop and thought, what in the world do I say?

Thoughts about John

John is a leap year baby who marched to the beat of his own drum. He was a loner but cared deeply about those who he was close to. He was tall in stature with kind eyes and a heart of gold. John was my gentle giant. He was never one to pick fights but always the first to defend those who were picked on. Like most teenagers and young adults, many times he didn’t listen to the advice given and had to learn the hard way. As hard as it was for me, I, as his mother, had to learn to let him do things his way. I couldn’t protect him forever. He was his own man.

I didn’t want to create a long-drawn-out obituary, but I did want whoever was reading it to know my John, so I began typing, and backspacing, crying, typing, backspacing, crying and typing again.

God, this is so hard, I thought.

“Please help me God”, I said

Then I just started writing from my heart and it began to flow. I kept it as short as possible, thinking “less is more”. When I was done, I looked up at the clock on my stove. It was 3:33 am and I took that as a sign from John to be satisfied with what I composed and go to bed.

My son’s obituary read:

John Leon Wilks was born on Thursday, February 29, 1996, in Fayette County Kentucky. He unexpectantly departed this life on Sunday , July 28, 2024, in Columbus Ohio.

John was a member of First Church of God where he accepted Jesus Christ into his life at an early age. He was a gifted singer and self-taught musician, serving God with his talents, by playing the guitar in the Youth Choir, under the direction of Pastor Jimmy Terry and his wife, Joyce. Throughout his life, he spoke of them often when reflecting on his teenage years. He was a true enthusiast for gaming, nature and military history.

John wanted to make a difference in this world by doing whatever he could to make it a better and safer place. He attended Columbus Downtown High School and enrolled in the Law Enforcement Career Program. John was a proud graduate of South High School. During his time at Columbus Downtown, he took immense pride in being part of The Columbus Division of Police Explorers Program which introduces young men and women to the foundation of police work. John’s lifelong dream was to join the military to protect and serve. His happiest moment was taking the Oath of Enlistment as he embarked upon that journey. John’s calm presence, gentle nature and patient spirit touched the hearts of all he came in contact with.

John was preceded in death by grandparents, Viola Kelley Thurman, Eddie Thurman Jr., Willie Wilks, Jessie Nell Wilks and Leta Davis. Left to cherish his memory are his daughter, Kameelah Elizabeth Wilks; parents Ronnie and Shari Wilks; sister, Justice Wilks; birthmother, Kameelah Salaam, ‘Pops’, Perry Thurman, and a host of aunts, uncles, cousins, extended family and friends that will all miss him dearly.

That was my John.