Third Cohort (Night Series)

Fourth Cohort

Fifth Cohort

Sixth Cohort

A Heartbroken Removal

In March 2024, City crews unexpectedly remove locks honoring murdered children from a Columbus bridge

On March 30, 2024, co-founder Malissa Thomas-St. Clair took to Facebook to express how heartbroken she was over the removal of MOMCC Locks of Love, without notice, from the Rich Street Bridge. Malissa reiterated, “There was a conversation with City Officials before beginning this initiative. We were given the blessing to host our initiative.”

“The city was VERY AWARE OF WHAT THOSE LOCKS WERE AND THEIR MEANING.”

She quickly contacted the City officials after they removed the locks with the hopes of a permanent solution for this incredible initiative.

Malissa’s dedication and determination paid off and one year later, she made an incredible announcement:

MOMCC Legacy Monument

April 4, 2025 – As taken from her Mothers Of Murdered Columbus Children Facebook announcement:

Early Stages: Movement Towards an MOMCC Legacy Monument To Showcase Our Locks of Love.

Meeting with City of Columbus Officials:

Together we are brainstorming the opportunity to create a LEGACY MONUMENT that will support Honoring our Lost loved ones to Violence in the city of Columbus, Ohio. The monument will serve as a reminder of what Violence does to generations before and after Violence. It will serve as an opportunity to prevent loved ones from engaging in Violence. It will serve as an opportunity to intervene in acts of violence within our city and beyond.

Mothers of Murdered Columbus Children are absolutely humbled and honored by the collaborative actions between the City of Columbus – City Hall , Columbus Division of Police Greater Columbus Arts Council, and the communities at large to serve as a beacon of hope and light toward safer communities.

I’m so happy that they will restore the ‘Locks of Love’ for every mother who came before me, and I look forward to the next installation. This time, they will include John’s name in the MOMCC Legacy Monument, which will stand forever.

Another step to ensuring that his death will not be in vain.

Please note: All pictures in this post were taken from ‘Mothers Of Murdered Columbus Children’ public Facebook page and NBC4 website.

April 3, 2025

In Loving Memory Of My Son

If roses grow in Heaven Lord,

please pick a bunch for me.

Place them in my Son’s arms

and tell him they’re from me.

Tell him that I love and miss him

and when he turns to smile,

Place a kiss upon his cheek

and hold him for a while.

Because remembering him is easy.

I do it everyday.

But there’s an ache within my heart

that will never go away.

March 30, 2025

Eight months ago, John left this world in such a violent and cruel manner. It’s been eight months of tears, heartache, pain, and despair. There have been days where darkness has engulfed my entire being, and I cannot see the light—so many tears. So many guttural cries asking God to turn back the hands of time. The trauma of losing my only son caused me to lose focus on absolutely everything, including God.

I know that should never happen because God is everything to me. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior on August 7, 1988. My spiritual journey has contained many highs and devastating lows, including the murder of my son, but God has always remained consistent. God has been my refuge and my strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

In March of 2015, I graduated from Ohio Christian University with a degree in Christian Ministry. That lets you know just how important God is to me.

But my question has always been, “God, what is your purpose for me? Why am I here?”

Jeremiah 29:11 states, “For I know the plans I have for you,’” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I’ve been searching for God’s plan for my life all my life, but nothing seemed to fit. Among several avenues I chose was volunteer work. Lower Lights Christian Health Center was my first stop as a Patient Advocate. I held that position for several years and loved serving the community. Helping the underprivileged obtain medical care was rewarding, but it just wasn’t it.

My next stop was volunteering with Hospice. Taking care of my mother while she fought colon cancer is my second most traumatic experience. Watching her health slowly decline broke my heart. I was there holding her hand as she drew her last breath. It was an experience I’ll never forget. Because of that, I decided to become a Hospice Vigil Volunteer. Hospice vigil volunteers are a compassionate presence at the bedside of actively dying patients during their final hours or days. No one should ever die alone.

The 2020 Coronavirus pandemic ended my volunteer work with Hospice, and although it was another rewarding experience, that still wasn’t it.

So, this brings me to today. Sometimes, in tragedy, we find our life’s purpose. John lost his life so I could find purpose for mine. I believe without a shadow of a doubt it’s true. I not only said this on January 1st, but God confirmed it today at church.

The Church Service

March is Women’s History Month.

Malissa Thomas-St.Clair, co-founder of Mothers Of Murdered Columbus Children, was honored today by 314 church.

Many Sister Soldiers stood with Malissa as she received her award. Malissa wouldn’t have had it any other way because she believes this is OUR award. She understands that reducing crime in our city is a team effort. Countless mothers who have lost their children to violence walk with her, seeking justice for our children. We do this with the hope that no other mother has to suffer the pain we feel.

Her award reads in part, ” Thank you for being a beacon of hope, your commitment to justice and raising awareness about the impact of violence in our community.”

She’s done that and more.

The Sermon

Pastor Julius Lancaster taught on Lydia. He spoke about appreciating the work of a woman and discussed how Lydia was the blueprint for all to follow.

He shared several characteristics of Lydia that could be the Ancient Annointing each of us carry:

1. Sentness – Being sent by God to serve a mission bigger than ourselves.
2. Resources – The Ability to get things done despite barriers and challenges place before her.
3. Hospitality – The ability to serve with care and attention.
4. Multiplication – The ability to bring multitudes to salvation.

The sermon and service are exactly what I needed to hear and experience today. Tears rolled down my cheeks as the praise and worship reverberated throughout the sanctuary. I won’t lie; praising God through all this pain is challenging. I still have so much anger and sadness right now. But I know praising God isn’t based on how I feel. Praising God is based on who He is.

God’s Message To Me

As soon as Pastor Lancaster made his first point, I knew that was God’s message to me:

Sentness – Being sent by God to serve a mission bigger than ourselves.

This message was loud and clear: John’s murder and death is bigger than me. God has sent me to be part of the movement to make Columbus, Ohio, a safer community for everyone.

I am a modern-day Lydia, along with my MOMCC fellow Sister Soldiers.

That’s His plan for me.

This is it!

March MOMCC Sister Circle

Directly following our beautiful visit at 314Church, I headed over to the monthly MOMCC Learning 2 Live Again Sister Circle Meeting. These meetings are our safe space. They allow us to regain inner healing in pursuit of optimal health after murder.

March theme : BEING ROOTED IN GOD’S WORD ….. planting our SEEDS in RICH SOIL FERTILIZED BY THE NECESSARY ACTIONS TO LEARN 2 LIVE AGAIN …

We fellowshipped with food and fun, laughed, and cried, painted our pots, and planted our seeds. Guest speakers, cofounder Karla Harris, delivered a powerful testimony of resiliency, and Jene Monique Patrick gave an excellent presentation on how to stay planted in God’s Word!

I left the meeting feeling rejuvenized and ready to continue walking in God’s purpose for me. I’m eager to stand with my Sister Soldiers as we seek to stop violence in our community.

#StayAliveIn2025

March 25, 2025

As a mother who has lost her child to murder, I’m extremely sensitive when I hear about other murder cases, and this case has left me speechless.

And heartbroken.

Thirteen-year-old Kei’Mani Latigue was last seen the night of March 16th at her home in Toledo, Ohio. Her grandmother, Dorothy Latigue, returned home from work the morning of March 17 and found the door unlocked. She said the house was in disarray, and Kei’Mani was missing. She continued to search and reported her missing just before noon on March 18, 2024, when she didn’t show up for school.

Throughout the week, family and friends handed out flyers to neighbors and asked the community for help locating Kei’Mani. They even organized a search party for her on March 21st. She still wasn’t located.

Where was Kei’Mani?

The last person to see Kei’Mani alive was her father, Darnell Jones. Information from police indicates Jones gave inconsistent statements about her location and what he did with her. As a result, an arrest warrant was issued for Jones on March 23.

Jones told 13 Action News, “I came over here because she said that it seemed like somebody was trying to break into the house. Me and my cousin sat over here for an hour, and we left around 12:30-ish.”

On March 24th, investigators found Kei’Mani Latigue’s body on the second floor of an abandoned, burned house on Miami Street in Toledo, Ohio. I watched the videos of this happening live on Facebook and cried almost as much as I did when I found out about the murder of my son.

An autopsy on March 25 determined Kei’Mani’ died of multiple “incised wounds of the neck,” according to the Lucas County Coroner’s Office.

Jones escaped to Columbus, Ohio, but on March 25th, the police located him, and he was shot in a confrontation. Jones survived and is in a local hospital in stable condition.

He survived, but his beautiful daughter is dead.

All I can do is shake my head.

Why did this happen?

How could a father kill his child?

Children are a gift and a blessing from God.

We, as parents, are responsible for raising our children with love. We must provide them with a safe environment to grow and flourish to become all that God intended them to be. Above all, children should always feel protected from hurt, harm, and danger when with their parents.

Jones failed Kei’Mani terribly.

Rest in eternal peace, sweet Kei’Mani.

I send love and prayers of comfort to her family.

#JusticeForKei’Mani

March 21, 2025

It’s sad how one piece of mail can ruin your entire day.

I’ve been in a good mood since MOMCC’s ‘Silence The Violence” Mall Walk a few days ago. MOMCC’s Co-Founder Malissa Thomas-St.Clair and her team dedicate so much time and effort to helping mothers of murdered children in Columbus and making our community safe, so it was nice to see so many turn out to support the cause. Coming together on one accord always makes you feel better.

But one piece of mail has taken the air out of my sail.

A few months ago, I wrote about my triggers concerning John’s death. I explained how I’m taken back to the horrible night of July 28, 2024, whenever I receive a hearing notice in the mail.

When I think back on that night, I remember sitting in my home office when the Eleven o’clock news came on TV. The anchor stated it was a violent night with multiple shootings. She went on to say, “Police responded to four separate shooting incidents within one hour, starting around 10 p.m. leaving one victim dead.”

I shook my head as I stood up and left the room thinking, “This world is getting crazier by the day. I hate guns. Gun violence has got to stop.”

At that time, I had no idea the person who died that horrible night was my son. A mother’s worst nightmare had just begun without me even knowing;

I was that mother.

Fast forward to today. I checked my mailbox as I do every day. It’s not a hearing notice this time. But there is one piece of mail addressed to John. John hasn’t lived with us for five years so whenever mail comes for him, it catches me off guard, especially now.

I looked at it and thought, what is this?

I turned it over and saw it was a Driver’s license expiration notice. His driver’s license expired twenty days ago, on his last birthday.

My eyes began to fill up with tears.

Why does a simple piece of mail for John make me cry?

Because it’s a reminder of what we have lost forever.

It’s a reminder that John is no longer here to drive a car, pick up scrap metal to turn in for a quick buck, or take a long drive in the country with nothing but time on his hands, which he so often loved to do.

I remember the last time I saw John drive away with his daughter Kammy in the back seat of his car, looking out her window and grinning from ear to ear as she waved goodbye to us.

That was just three weeks before he was murdered.

It’s a memory I’ll cherish forever.

Tears are now streaming down my face as I walk back to the house. This one piece of mail is another reminder my son is no longer here to do the simple things in life.

One Step forward. Two steps back.

Am I the only one who feels like this when dealing with grief?

March 19, 2025

“No More Talking! Let’s Start Walking!”

Today was the first MOMCC “Silence The Violence Mall Walk” at the Polaris Fashion Mall in Columbus Ohio.

‘Silence the Violence’ is one of Mothers of Murdered Columbus Children’s new initiatives for 2025; a silent demonstration throughout local malls in Columbus Ohio.

It’s a branded walking billboard for MOMCC’s twofold mission:

1. To bring awareness to areas less affected by gun violence.
2. Crime prevention, and crime intervention to lower the number of Columbus homicides under triple digits in 2025.

Participants include mothers, fathers, children, grandparents, friends, and a coalition of other crime prevention organizations.

Today’s turnout was phenomenal. Everyone was dressed in orange MOMCC shirts and camouflage pants to show solidarity. I’m wearing John’s hat and will wear it at every MOMCC event so I’ll always have a piece of him with me.

I’m fulfilling my promise to him; Turning pain into purpose.

Watch my blog for information about future ‘Silence the Violence’ Mall Walks if you live in or near Columbus Ohio.

All are welcome to join us.

Next up is Easton Town Center…

March 11, 2025

This is one of my favorite pictures of me and John.

The pure love and joy you see all over his face is priceless.

God, I miss my son.

March 9, 2025

The picture above is taken from the single, “Scream”; a duet by Michael Jackson and his baby sister Janet.

Janet on the left looks pissed off. Michael on the right is letting it all out.

This has been my mood for the past week.

Someone told me to be more positive.

“Change your mind. Change your life”, they said.

Really?

My son was murdered.

How positive would you be?

From what I know, all over a stupid argument.

Heated emotions between several individuals and now my son is dead.

FOR WHAT?

Something probably senseless and stupid.

Yes, I said it, senseless and stupid!

Was it worth John losing his life over?

Was it?

NO!

I don’t care what other people think or feel.

John is all that matters to me, and he is dead.

What really happened?

Stories here.

Stories there.

There are three sides to every story; his story, her story and the truth.

It’s not just about what happened, but WHY it happened.

That’s the big question.

Intuition can speak louder than words if you’re willing to listen.

A mother has it.

Think about that.

On July 28, 2024, this mother lost her child to gun violence.

So, I’m going to acknowledge all the pain I have inside right now and SCREAM.

As loud as I can and as long as I want.

I don’t give a damn what anyone THINKS or has to SAY about it.

March 1, 2025

This morning, I woke up on a wet pillow so I know I must have been crying in my sleep…again.

Today John would have been 29 years old.

Twenty-nine.

I can’t believe I’m typing “would have been”, let alone saying it.

This is so hard.

If I could stay in bed and cry all day, I would. But just as I have done so many times these past seven months, I cry, dab my eyes and get up to face another day.

Today I’m attending a birthday skating party for John, given by our daughter, Justice. I think that’s so sweet of her.  Of course I’ll be there along with many others celebrating John’s day. There’s so much more I want to say about John and what I had hoped this birthday would bring, but if I do, I’ll be writing all day.

So, I’ll move on.

The Balloon Release

The weather last week was so beautiful. It was high in the sixties with the sun shining brightly every day. I decided to host a balloon release at John’s grave before heading over to the party today.

The balloon release was planned to start at 2 pm. I wanted to bring our portable speaker with us. I thought it would be nice to take song requests from those in attendance. If there was a song that reminded them of John or a favorite song of his, I would play it. We were going to have a mini celebration before the big one later today.

The party before the party would end with everyone releasing a balloon to Stevie Wonder’s “Happy Birthday” song. We would then dance and sing as loud as we possibly could. I wanted John and all of heaven to hear us.

But…Mother Nature had different plans.

Today the temperatures are in the mid-twenties with the wind chill well below that. It’s so cold outside! Needless to say, I let everyone know if they couldn’t make it to the balloon release, that’s totally fine. I’ll see them at the skating party later today.

This cold weather wasn’t going to stop the faithful few led by momma bear! I was determined to go to John’s grave and release those balloons no matter what on his special day.

You can’t stop love!

We arrived around 3 pm and was immediately met by the frigid winds which practically blew us away once we turned into the cemetery. Tiffany, Kammy and Tiffany’s mom, Cindy, hadn’t arrived yet. I got out of the car and headed to Johns grave to wrap a few helium balloons on his temporary marker. That wind was relentless! I wanted to snap a picture of the balloons, but the wind kept slamming them to the ground.

“Okay, not today”.

I went back to the car to wait for the others to arrive. My phone rang and Tiffany let me know they were here. When they pulled up behind us and parked, we exited our cars and stood at John’s grave. Helium filled balloons were batting us in the face left and right like a prizefighter. We held onto those strings for dear life to ensure the balloons weren’t released until the appointed time.

I planned to give a nice long speech about how much we miss John on this special day, but it was so cold. I decided to shorten my speech, thank the few who made it here and said,

“Happy Heavenly 29th Birthday John! We love and miss you. Everyone wishes you were still here. But since you’re not, we’ll celebrate for you! I hope you’re having an amazing birthday celebration up there.”

At the count of three, we released the balloons, screamed “Happy Birthday John!” and watched some fly up toward the heavens. There were also a few that got stuck in a tree. We all laughed as Ronnie retrieved the balloons in the tree.

“I can hear John laughing at us now”, I said and everyone agreed.

“WE LOVE YOU, JOHN!”

Justice was able to record everything. At the time of the balloon release, I noticed the wind switched directions. It calmed down considerably right when we released the balloons.

While looking at the video, I noticed the balloons I tied on John’s grave marker were standing straight up!

Even if it isn’t the greatest picture, I was able to get one after all.

I’ll take whatever I can get.

Thanks John.

*Be open to messages and actions from your loved ones on the other side*

The Skating Party

After the frigid balloon release, we headed to John’s skating party.

I hadn’t been to the skating rink in years. When I walked in and saw the disco ball hanging from the ceiling over the rink, I was immediately transported back to the 1970s and 80s. Going skating every Saturday was a ritual for me and my friends as children and teenagers. It was so much fun! That’s when there were designated parts in each skating session; backward skate, adult skate, Hokie Pokie and the highly anticipated “moonlight” skate.  Moonlight skate is when the only light in the rink came from the spinning disco ball above it. The DJ would put on the latest popular slow songs heard on the radio to set the mood. That’s when your hands began sweating as you nervously waited for a cute boy to ask you to skate with him while holding his hand.

And when the skate was over, you hoped he would ask for your phone number.

Such great memories!

We were the first to arrive. Shortly after, other guests began streaming in. Several family members and friends couldn’t make it because they were sick, but overall, it was still a very nice turnout.

I’m always so emotional now. Half the time my mind is elsewhere, thinking about John, so getting pictures of everyone together was challenging. My sister-in-law usually captures spontaneous photos, but she was one of many who couldn’t come because she was sick. When I looked at the group picture, I noticed at least fifteen people missing who were there, but I reminded myself, that’s okay, the memories will last a lifetime.

My nephew, Andrew, knows a baker he calls the ‘Cake Lady’, so he volunteered to bring cupcakes for the celebration. She made the most delicious cupcakes I’ve ever tasted. She also inserted little pictures of John on toothpicks and placed them on the top of each cupcake. Once I saw them, I cried because it took me off guard. What a nice touch to that was!

The most emotional part, for me, was singing happy birthday to John. I brought a picture of John and sat it at the table in front of two balloons representing his age, twenty-nine. When everyone began singing, I grabbed the picture and held it close to my heart. Toward the middle of the song, I was overcome with emotions, so I pulled the picture up to cover my face. Everyone thought I did it so they could feel like they were singing to John, but that isn’t the reason why. I did it to hide all the tears streaming down my face.

Once they had finished singing and eating the cupcakes, the children went back to skating. I stepped back into the corner behind the table and cried.

My nephew came over to check on me.

I looked at him and said, “John didn’t deserve to die like that. He should still be here to celebrate his birthday today.”

As much as I try not to think about it, I can’t help it. I get so mad and sad. It’s just so unfair.

“I know Auntie”, he said as he hugged me, “It sucks. You’re so right. My cousin should be here.”

The remaining time flew by and before I knew it, the party was over. Everyone had a great time and was happy Justice decided to do this for her big brother.

After all the goodbye hugs, I sat there a little longer just looking around and thinking about John.

Thanks to everyone who came to celebrate John’s Heavenly 29th birthday.

I’m sure he smiled down on all of us.

February 28, 2025

Seven months ago today, you were tragically taken away from us.

These days aren’t getting any easier, son.

Tomorrow I’ll celebrate you and your 29th birthday with everyone who loves you.

Momma loves you more.

#leapyearbaby