March 30, 2025
Eight months ago, John left this world in such a violent and cruel manner. It’s been eight months of tears, heartache, pain, and despair. There have been days where darkness has engulfed my entire being, and I cannot see the light—so many tears. So many guttural cries asking God to turn back the hands of time. The trauma of losing my only son caused me to lose focus on absolutely everything, including God.
I know that should never happen because God is everything to me. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior on August 7, 1988. My spiritual journey has contained many highs and devastating lows, including the murder of my son, but God has always remained consistent. God has been my refuge and my strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
In March of 2015, I graduated from Ohio Christian University with a degree in Christian Ministry. That lets you know just how important God is to me.
But my question has always been, “God, what is your purpose for me? Why am I here?”
Jeremiah 29:11 states, “For I know the plans I have for you,’” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
I’ve been searching for God’s plan for my life all my life, but nothing seemed to fit. Among several avenues I chose was volunteer work. Lower Lights Christian Health Center was my first stop as a Patient Advocate. I held that position for several years and loved serving the community. Helping the underprivileged obtain medical care was rewarding, but it just wasn’t it.
My next stop was volunteering with Hospice. Taking care of my mother while she fought colon cancer is my second most traumatic experience. Watching her health slowly decline broke my heart. I was there holding her hand as she drew her last breath. It was an experience I’ll never forget. Because of that, I decided to become a Hospice Vigil Volunteer. Hospice vigil volunteers are a compassionate presence at the bedside of actively dying patients during their final hours or days. No one should ever die alone.
The 2020 Coronavirus pandemic ended my volunteer work with Hospice, and although it was another rewarding experience, that still wasn’t it.
So, this brings me to today. Sometimes, in tragedy, we find our life’s purpose. John lost his life so I could find purpose for mine. I believe without a shadow of a doubt it’s true. I not only said this on January 1st, but God confirmed it today at church.
The Church Service
March is Women’s History Month.
Malissa Thomas-St.Clair, co-founder of Mothers Of Murdered Columbus Children, was honored today by 314 church.
Many Sister Soldiers stood with Malissa as she received her award. Malissa wouldn’t have had it any other way because she believes this is OUR award. She understands that reducing crime in our city is a team effort. Countless mothers who have lost their children to violence walk with her, seeking justice for our children. We do this with the hope that no other mother has to suffer the pain we feel.
Her award reads in part, ” Thank you for being a beacon of hope, your commitment to justice and raising awareness about the impact of violence in our community.”
She’s done that and more.
The Sermon
Pastor Julius Lancaster taught on Lydia. He spoke about appreciating the work of a woman and discussed how Lydia was the blueprint for all to follow.
He shared several characteristics of Lydia that could be the Ancient Annointing each of us carry:
- Sentness – Being sent by God to serve a mission bigger than ourselves.
- Resources – The Ability to get things done despite barriers and challenges place before her.
- Hospitality – The ability to serve with care and attention.
- Multiplication – The ability to bring multitudes to salvation.
The sermon and service are exactly what I needed to hear and experience today. Tears rolled down my cheeks as the praise and worship reverberated throughout the sanctuary. I won’t lie; praising God through all this pain is challenging. I still have so much anger and sadness right now. But I know praising God isn’t based on how I feel. Praising God is based on who He is.
God’s Message To Me
As soon as Pastor Lancaster made his first point, I knew that was God’s message to me:
Sentness – Being sent by God to serve a mission bigger than ourselves.
This message was loud and clear: John’s murder and death is bigger than me. God has sent me to be part of the movement to make Columbus, Ohio, a safer community for everyone.
I am a modern-day Lydia, along with my MOMCC fellow Sister Soldiers.
That’s His plan for me.
This is it!
March MOMCC Sister Circle
Directly following our beautiful visit at 314Church, I headed over to the monthly MOMCC Learning 2 Live Again Sister Circle Meeting. These meetings are our safe space. They allow us to regain inner healing in pursuit of optimal health after murder.
March theme : BEING ROOTED IN GOD’S WORD …..
planting our SEEDS in RICH SOIL FERTILIZED BY THE NECESSARY ACTIONS TO LEARN 2 LIVE AGAIN …
We fellowshipped with food and fun, laughed, and cried, painted our pots, and planted our seeds. Guest speakers, cofounder Karla Harris, delivered a powerful testimony of resiliency, and Jene Monique Patrick gave an excellent presentation on how to stay planted in God’s Word!
I left the meeting feeling rejuvenized and ready to continue walking in God’s purpose for me. I’m eager to stand with my Sister Soldiers as we seek to stop violence in our community.
#StayAliveIn2025
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