August 4, 2024
I returned home from looking at the cemeteries and fixed a small plate of food along with some iced tea. After a couple of bites of macaroni and cheese, I immediately lost my appetite and pushed the plate aside.
Who can eat at such a devastating time as this?
My mind wandered again as I thought about John.
I can’t stop thinking about my son.
Cindy sat down at the table with me and began eating her dinner. She checked on the GoFundMe and brought me back to reality with an update. Things were going well, which I was pleased to hear. We talked about a few other things regarding the funeral and I continued thinking about John.
After she finished eating and recording the latest GoFundMe donations, on her tablet, she stood up, walked over to the sink to wash off her plate.
I really didn’t like those cemeteries I commented. She agreed and said she totally understood why. They just didn’t have a good feel to her either. Whatever you decide, I’ll support you she said.
“Is there anything else you need?” she asked as she turned toward the hallway?
“No, I’m okay. I need to start writing John’s obituary”
She sighed a little and offered to help.
I shook my head no.
“Thanks but only I can do this. I have no idea what to write but I’m sure God will give me the words to say.”
“Okay, we have a long day tomorrow. Try not to stay up too late. You can always go to bed and get up early in the morning to write it,” She said as she was walking down the hallway.
I looked at the blank screen on my laptop and thought, what in the world do I say?
God, this is so hard.
Please help me.
Thoughts about John
John is a leap year baby who marched to the beat of his own drum. He was tall in stature with kind eyes and a heart of gold. John was my gentle giant. He never picked fights with anyone and was always the first to defend those who were being picked on. Like most teenagers and young adults, many times he didn’t listen to the advice given and had to learn the hard way. As hard as it was for me, I, as his mother, had to learn to let him do things his way. I couldn’t protect him forever. He was his own man.
I began typing, crying and backspacing.
Crying, typing, backspacing and typing again.
“Please help me God”, I said.
I took a deep breath and started writing from my heart. It began to flow and I kept it as short as possible, thinking “less is more”. I finished writing and looked at the digital clock on my stove which read 3:33 am. In numerology the number 333 is often referred to as an “angel number. “This number is a sign of support from my guardian angel to express myself authentically which is what I just did in writing John’s obituary. I took that as a sign from John to be satisfied with what I composed and go to bed.
I headed up the stairs and thought, I’m exhausted.
My Son’s Obituary Read:
John Leon Wilks was born on Thursday, February 29, 1996, in Fayette County Kentucky. He unexpectantly departed this life on Sunday , July 28, 2024, in Columbus Ohio.
John was a member of First Church of God where he accepted Jesus Christ into his life at an early age. He was a gifted singer and self-taught musician, serving God with his talents, by playing the guitar in the Youth Choir, under the direction of Pastor Jimmy Terry and his wife, Joyce. Throughout his life, he spoke of them often when reflecting on his teenage years. He was a true enthusiast for gaming, nature and military history.
John wanted to make a difference in this world by doing whatever he could to make it a better and safer place. He attended Columbus Downtown High School and enrolled in the Law Enforcement Career Program. John was a proud graduate of South High School. During his time at Columbus Downtown, he took immense pride in being part of The Columbus Division of Police Explorers Program which introduces young men and women to the foundation of police work. John’s lifelong dream was to join the military to protect and serve. His happiest moment was taking the Oath of Enlistment as he embarked upon that journey. John’s calm presence, gentle nature and patient spirit touched the hearts of all he came in contact with.
John was preceded in death by grandparents, Viola Kelley Thurman, Eddie Thurman Jr., Willie Wilks, Jessie Nell Wilks and Leta Davis. Left to cherish his memory are his daughter, Kameelah Elizabeth Wilks; parents Ronnie and Shari Wilks; sister, Justice Wilks; birthmother, Kameelah Salaam, ‘Pops’, Perry Thurman, and a host of aunts, uncles, cousins, extended family and friends that will all miss him dearly.
That was my John.
